7 and 8 months

Seven months was big for us. Ellianna popped two lower teeth, started trying to crawl, started cying when daddy would walk by and not get her, and by crying I mean big crying. Dramatic. Crying.

Eight months gave way to fully crawling, choosing daddy over mommy in a standoff, and a cute little bashful smile.

She just has so much personality. Such joy, such sweetness and spiciness.  We are loving our little Ellie. Such a sweet beautiful baby.

The boys are now 5. I.cannot.believe.it. They have been so great with Elliana. No jealousy or complaining.IMG_3352


The Story

Someone just asked me today a question about my labor, and I went on for the next 20 minutes and gave her the WHOLE story. Did she want to know? I don’t know.  I guess I just needed to remember.  So here’s to remembering…

I started having mild contractions on Friday morning October 26th. I was 39 weeks, 3 days.  I went about my day as usual, perhaps in denial, because I needed to have the house in order and those belly shots I had been meaning to have done (Thanks Tish).  It’s a good thing we did them that day!

I would have an occasional contraction, maybe one an hour, that was noticeable  not quite ignorable, but tolerable.  It became dinnertime and we leisurely decided to go out to eat, which I fully supported not wanting to cook, yet knowing it could possibly be my last meal…  But as the time passed and we were not yet leaving, I had the sense of urgency to tell Asher, “If we are going to go to eat we better go sooner than later or I might not make it.”  So we went to Red Robin. Enjoyed an uneventful dinner, and then as we walked to the car, I felt my first “stop-me-in-my-tracks” contraction.  UH OH. and OH YA, this is what this feels like.  So we drove home, thankful that my mom was on her way already from Angel Fire.  Asher put the kids down while I put a small glass of wine down.  Then I rested, and went to bed.  Bed was not happening.  Contractions were coming about once every 15 minutes. Just often enough to drift off, then be woken up unpleasantly.  So I decided it was bath time.  This was probably around 11pm – midnight.  Bath was not relaxing, I could not get comfortable.  So I dried off and began to walk.  Up and down the hall. In and out of the rooms, stopping at the desk in Asher’s office, leaning on the dresser in baby’s new room. Silently praying and pacing, just my Lord and I.  I remembered a friend telling me labor was like taking up your cross, sympathizing in the smallest way with what Christ had to endure on his cross.  So I meditated, walked, prayed, and occasionally talking with Asher as he lightly slept in our bed.  When I felt I could bare it no longer, I came to our room and told Asher, “It’s time to go.”  He gently tried to question my certainty, and my response was, “If I’m not where I should be to go to the hospital, I’m getting an epidural when I get there.”  Enough said.  Woke mom sleeping on the couch, “It’s time, we’re leaving.”  She gently questions, “Already?”  Yes, as I brace myself on the arched doorway.  Good-bye house of 4.

The car ride was intense to say the least.  I believe it’s called “Transition.”  The ladies know what that means.  It’s where things get REAL, real fast.  This is where Asher realized our status.  His driving mirrored what was happening in my body, getting more intense going faster…. “You don’t have to speed, we are going to make it.”  “Are you sure?”  “Yes.”  At this point I have unbuckled my seatbelt, and am hitting the roof every few minutes.  Did I mention I’m a screamer?  Never knew that until this moment.  My body enters this primal state where I no longer recognize my own voice nor can I change a single thing that is happening in this moment.   Next walk into hospitol, doors locked, ring doorbell.  Is that a wheelchair for me, nope.  Is this where we go, nope.  Pea in a cup. Whaaaa?!  Ok. I tried.  @#$%.  Here’s a bed get undressed, put on gown.  Nurse comes in to check me.

“YOURE A 9 OR 10!!!!!”  


“My water just exploded!!!!”

Action. Lots of Action. Lot’s of screaming. Lot’s of pushing. Lot’s of nurses.  Lot’s of needles.

“Breathe, Breathe for the baby! Breathe for the baby.”

Babe enter world. Done.  40 minutes after arriving at hospital.

And then there were 5…


Elliana Rose



ImageImageElliana Rose

She is four months old today, and I am barely sitting down to blog.  Not that I haven’t blogged in my head hundreds of times… but only now to sit and write.

She is beautiful. She is happy. She is healthy. We are blessed. We love her.

ImageThe boys have been great with her, loving and gentle (most of the time). We’ve seen a gentle side of Ezekiel come out that is so sweet to see. Ben has been a little slower to figure her out, but now that she smiles at him, he is definitely paying her more attention.

And Daddy, o how daddy loves her…

A blog for me is a memory book.  So I’m feeling a sense of urgency to get these memories on record of this last 9 months.  We are 39 weeks 2 days!!  Having more contractions but nothing regular.  Feeling tired, excited, and a little anxious, but mostly just EXCITED!

As the time draws near to meet this little one, I am so thankful that God allowed me to do it again.  Before this pregnancy I felt a little sadness at the thought of never being pregnant again and not experiencing all that miraculousness again.  And “God has answered,” and we are almost to completion.  I feel we have not rushed this pregnancy, or complained this pregnancy (too much), or wished it away quicker, but rather simply waited, enjoyed, and soaked it all in.  I am very grateful for such a smooth pregnancy, I know many of my friends who have quite a different burden to bearing children.  I receive this grace, and am thankful for what I’ve been given.  It was a much simpler pregnancy than with the boys, not many ultrasounds, not as uncomfortable, not as much weight, not as much babies!  

It’s been fun to experience it with the boys too, to see this miracle unfold through their eyes and catch glimpses of their perception of it all.  Ezekiel has said some memorable things this last month, 

“Mommy, how are you going to be able to snuggle me when the baby comes?”  I said, “Well buddy, the baby will sleep a lot and we’ll be able to hang out while she’s sleeping, but you can always tell me when you need some loving too.”

Another cute one was when the boys were at Aunt Katie’s house and Ezekiel told her, “We won’t come back to your house ever again.”  She said “Why not?”  He said, “Because when the baby comes we won’t be able to go anywhere ever again.”

That comes from trying to help them know mommy will slow down for a little bit after baby comes, but I did say daddy and grandparents would come to hang with them, but that wasn’t the memorable part I guess.  

Ben surprisingly has not had many questions, I feel he knows something is coming, but is not too sure about it. One of the things Ben said earlier on when he felt the baby move was “she’s trying to get out!” It was comical.  He also said after being away from me a few days, when we told him to say hi to sister, “I can’t hug her yet.” He is my snugglebug, so I’m sure this little girl will be well snuggled.

Neither one of the boys want to feel her move anymore, I think it weirded them out. Especially Zek, when he put his face on my belly one time and got a good kick.  He was done after that.  They have been super sweet though at times, being more gentle with mommy. One day I was running out for a class and they were staying with dad, Ben said, “did you eat breakfast?” I said, “I grabbed a bagel.” He said, “that’s not enough, you could have my oatmeal!”  

Another time Zek said, “I wish I was still 3.” “Why Zek?” “Because then you could still hold me.”  I said, I can always still hold you, I just can’t pick you up.”

So those are what I can remember of our memorable memories. This new season will have many more for sure. I can’t wait to see their face when they meet their sister for the first time.  Pray for a smooth labor. Pray for my strength.  Pray for our patience with one another as we enter this new season of life for our family. Thank youImage

33 Weeks, 4 Days, 3rd Child

Wow, looking back over my last pregnancy 4.5 years ago, I’m realizing how much I’ve forgotten.  I didn’t think I’d had many braxton hicks, I just read I had a lot, I also didn’t remember how uncomfortable I was there towards the end.  I’m feeling pretty great these days.  I also still get teary eyed to read Asher’s post that day of the boy’s birth, all of which the details are very blurry.

All that to say, I am so thankful for the chance to do it all again.  Don’t get me wrong, if there was a new way to teleport this baby out, I’d probably choose that route, but all the glorious movement of having a life growing in my belly, all the beautiful wonder seen through the boys eyes, the joy in my husbands voice and anticipation of holding his new baby girl, it is making this such a sweet season for our little family.

I did meet with a surgeon this past week to discuss my previous c-section.  It was a little discouraging that it’s not a clear green light, perhaps it never is.  The surgeon that delivered the boys put in my file that I have a prominent sacrum, and probably wouldn’t be able to have a VBAC (men ask your wives).  So we have a choice to try to deliver and perhaps still have a c-section, or simply schedule a c-section.  We are leaning towards trying again, in hopes of avoiding c-section, but would appreciate to be clothed in prayer by you all.  That’s pretty much the route we were in with the boys and it was rough.

On a lighter note, the boys are sweet with my growing belly, hugging it, stroking it, being kicked by it.  They are really fun and we’ve enjoyed getting some one-on-one time with each one now and then.  They already know it all, Ezekiel informed me that he knows everything I know and Ben knows everything dad knows.  They keep us laughing all.the.time.

O and a special little treat for those of you that read to the end, we have chosen a name, at lease in part, Eliana …. Barrett.  It means “God has answered.”  And he has.

I’m back!!

Peaceful Shopping

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Wow, it’s been a long time, fortunately the previous entry lets me know just.how.long.  But nothing like expecting another baby to get me blogging again.  I have looked back at pregnancy pics with the boys and can’t believe the difference … Continue reading

What you’ve missed…

You’ve.missed.a.Lot. But it’s not your fault. All I can do is keep up, and I’m usually running. That is until 8:30pm. Then I’m usually sitting. On.the.couch. So I don’t blog as much as I would like to, it’s funny though, I think in blog form often. Every holiday is fuller and busier and more fun. Starting with Halloween, we had a lot of fun showing off our little Cowboy and Indian, the boys loved the attention, I loved the innocence.  They came home with bucketfuls of candy, but what did they want when given a choice? A cute little dum dum sucker, because that is about the only candy they had had at that point.

Next we took family photos, thanks to Latisha Lyn Photography (www.latishalyn.com). She captured some great shots despite the inability of mom and dad to get the obedience we desired, we bribed, threatened, etc… did I mention she had her twins in tow as well? They are our buddies and as you can see in the picture, are very intrigued by these busy boys, who are very willing to entertain anyone watching.

Then Thanksgiving and Christmas. Lots of fun, lots of wonder, lots of awe. We had our first escapes from bed this past month. We are not ready for big boy beds. By we, I mean Asher and I. So far we haven’t been forced to take the plunge, and that is about the only way it will happen, when we are forced.

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Out of the mouthes of babes

Zek leaned over, with no prodding or prompting, put his hand on Asher’s cheek to gently turn him to speak in his ear, and said, “Hey, I love you Daddy.” Asher said he will remember that moment forever. I think it brought a little tear to both our eyes.

Ben saw himself in the bathroom mirror as I sat him on the counter to wash his hands, and for the first time, he really saw himself.  He asked what’s on my cheek?” I replied, “It’s a birthmark.” “Why do I have a birthmark on my cheek?” “Because God gave it to you specially.”  Then at the table he asked, “Where’s Zek’s birthmark?” I said, “He doesn’t have one on his cheek, his is on his back.”

“MORE SALAD!!” Oh they things that bring joy to a momma’s heart. So what if it was barked out like a drill sergeant with no please attached. For this one instance I didn’t mind. They finally will eat salad!! and some other veggies again, that haven’t got any farther than their lips in months. Thank you Lord.  I guess I was getting a little worried that they really only wanted “Steak and bacon!” (thanks to their daddy, yes they really say that when asked what their favorite food is, or what they want to eat no matter the time of day, and no they don’t really eat much of it.)

“Dessert is good for me.” says Zek

“You going to leave me?” Ben asks whenever someone comes to visit.

Lot’s of fun these boys.

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Everyday is an adventure x 2

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Some of the cute things they do…

Ben says, “let’s go to chick ta fe” he means chick fil a.

Zek asked me yesterday, “Does God have a belly button?” I replied “No, he made everything, no one made him.”  I quizzed him on this later, and he remembered and said, “God made things” I was impressed.

They did get their first haircuts, which did not cause them to lose their strength, previously our concern… They did great, it was a fun experience.

They both love to sing, even singing their prayers before meals to the tune: “Thank you God for my fooood, and our many blessings, and our many blessings, aaamen, aaamen.”   I’m not sure if they learned it in church, but it is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.

They also are potty training, no accidents 2 days in a row, no more fighting to go, and the winner is…. M & M’s!!  Yes, 1 for pee, 2 for poo, 3 for no accidents all day.  I was afraid to use those thinking they would bug me all day long for them, but to my delight there’s not been one such case! They go potty and are totally satisfied with 1 m&m!! I know, how sweet and innocent, and if they are only getting one at a time, where are all those m&m’s going????  I am so proud of them, and though this was the hardest thing since infancy, I’m once again seeing the light of sanity.

The realization hit me this weekend, we are seeing less and less of our babies, and more and more of our little boys. They run (everywhere), jump (off of everything), they slide (down anything). They like to fix things, and if busy and you ask what they’re doing they’ll say, “I’m working.”  They are so much fun. Growing so fast. So sweet (and sassy).